Scorpio (1982) – Grand Master Flash & The Furious Five

Sharing its title with the moniker of one of the Furious Five, “Scorpio” is a minacious creature: spasmodic synth-prickles palpitate as a portly bassline writhes like a wounded scorpion impaled over spikes of electro-percussion; Melle Mel issues directives to infuse the funk in the always-cool camouflage of a vocoder; sporadic bursts of lasers discharge with futuristic import. The effect is one of a galactic ceremony at which an alien arachnid despot commands its subjects to get down before being exterminated.

In the early ‘80s, there was hardly a more compelling jam to be heard blaring from ghetto blasters, instantly inciting the robotic seizures of poppers, lockers and breakers who were helpless to resist the command to “show no shame.”

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Born With It (1996) – Steve Azar and Brett Favre (Steve Azar/McNeel, K./Kim Venable)

Yes, that Brett Favre. This ain’t no Super Bowl Shuffle, though. Recorded before he won his Super Bowl ring, the bluesy country-rock of “Born With It” would be equally effective in a commercial endorsing Chevy Trucks, Coors Light, Musk Fragrance or Herbal Essence Shampoo. This is kick off your boots, fling your Stetson, grab your girl and jump on the sin wagon music. The Mississippi born and bred Favre is a natural fit for the genre. He carries a tune just fine with a southern twang and country whine, and is not asked to do too much here. An up-and-coming artist at the time, Steve Azar handles the slight majority of the vocals on this ode to a beguiling gal who possess that inherent je ne sais quoi which inspires truckers, construction workers and cowboys to get up off the couch, forgo the game, and take up ballroom dancing, soak in an art show, partake of fine French cuisine, or attend the theatre. Or, maybe she’s just a glorified tramp who enjoys making ‘em horny.

More than simply just a novelty recording, “Born With It” celebrates a time when a one-off such as this was Favre’s fanfare, the NFL’s only three-time league MVP reveling in the height of his popularity, rather than the croaking swan song of an also-ran athlete.

Not available from iTunes Music Store.

Agenda Suicide (2001) – The Faint

(Part Five of the Damned If You Work and Damned If You Don’t hexology)

The Faint’s implements of demoralization—ominous bass synth, fidgeting scrapes of guitar, mechanical beat, snide vocals—approximate a gothic Duran Duran grown intolerant of bourgeois materialism. The Faint mean to admonish that being a slave to an agenda as a means to the end of affording a quaint home in the suburbs is tantamount to spiritual death. Emboldened by the discharge of grainy sawtooth synth and hissing hi-hats, vocalist Todd Fink sneeringly pronounces his ideology: working primarily to sustain an idealized standard of living is foolish, and living solely for one’s job is ultimately futile; accepting one’s fungible role in a characterless workforce renders one’s life no more substantial than a “cast shadow.” There’s a fine line, though, between senseless burnout and industrious virtue. To the extent Fink means to disparage a productive work ethic, his hyperbolic assailment probably deserves all the credence of an unemployed career guidance counselor’s advice.

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Theme From A Summer Place (1960) – Percy Faith and His Orchestra

If you were born in the ‘50s, ‘60s, or even ‘70s, there’s a good chance you heard this playing at an outdoor mall while shopping with your mother, or wafting from a transistor radio in the kitchen while she whipped up some Toll House cookies. This July 4th, why not make “Theme From A Summer Place” the theme for your summer place while you grill tasty treats for your friends and family to enjoy? With its leisurely rhythmic waltz, dreamy flutes and French horns, and strings swaying gracefully in the breeze, “Theme From A Summer Place” is sure to soothe and delight your guests as they lounge by the pool, nursing tall, cool refreshments in anticipation of the evening’s fireworks display your neighbors are sure to put on at the block party! “Theme From A Summer Place”—no mid-summer’s backyard barbeque is complete without it!

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Real Summer (1997) – Future Bible Heroes

In a supernova of synthetic effervescence, songwriter Stephen Merritt and programmer Chris Ewen capture the essence of that summer of teenage epiphany—the step into adulthood where one’s realization of life’s promise is awakened through romantic episodes and leisurely pursuits. Unfortunately, that summer is in the past, and attempts to recreate it are failing miserably. Synthesizer sequences and programmed percussion pulsate, pan, and percolate in a vibrant confluence of energy that offsets lyrics toasting idle days and listless nights. As inertia settles into a lifestyle, each evening marks another wasted day closer to summer’s end. Claudia Gonson’s lulling alto underscores the disappointment when reality collapses beneath the weight of great expectations, languishing in the rubble of resentment. Even the weather refuses to cooperate: the sun only occasionally peeks through the clouds (“Octagons fall from the sun”), and it’s damn cold!: “And the Beach Boys? / Hell, they might as well play ‘Winter Wonderland’ / Summer, my ass.” As dwindling plans are discarded in a midsummer night’s bonfire, possibilities perish in a languid fizzle.

Not available from iTunes Music Store.

Lost Summer Love (1964) – Shelley Fabares

Donna Reed’s television daughter and Coach’s wife had a fairly successful recording career in her early 20’s, including the No. 1 hit single “Johnny Angel” in 1962. The wistful “Lost Summer Love” recounts a familiar story of teenage romance that only lasts a summer, leaving in its wake broken promises, illusory dreams and distant memories. Time moves ahead to the march of a snare and bass guitar, as background girl group harmonies mingle with Fabares’ pleasant voice in melodic phrases that convey a reverie tinged with fondness and regret. Simple yet affecting, “Lost Summer Love” commemorates the youthful idealism of a bygone era when romance washed in and out of lives with the summer tide.

Not available from iTunes Music Store.

Meantime (2004) – The Futureheads

An inebriated overdriven bass stumbles into a pub to challenge a couple of guitars to a brawl. The guitars hurl insults from either side of the room. Chairs begin to fly as the drums kick in. A spastic one-note guitar riff, reminiscent of Devo, pogos from side-to-side to get a better view of the fracas.

“Meantime” is the gleeful soundtrack to roisterous hooligans skipping around a mosh pit as a prelude to a festival of fisticuffs after a football match. In keeping with this confrontational theme, vocalist Barry Hyde preempts the facade of small talk to get candid with a social gadfly he finds vexing: “And you thought that I was joking / when I said you were a moron / When I said it I was smiling / so you thought that I was joking.” Them’s fighin’ words. In casting aspersions, Hyde comes off as impudent, yet offers a diplomatic explanation for his hostility: despite Hyde’s attempts to be civil, the guy is a recidivist nuisance, perhaps with a narcissistic need to be the center of attention. Well, in that case, the guy’s askin’ for it.

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I Only Have Eyes For You (1959) – The Flamingos (Al Dubin/Harry Warren)

Reflecting the starry-eyed innocence of the fifties, “I Only Have Eyes For You” embodies the golden era of dreamy doo-wop that wafted from tabletop transistor radios and soda fountain jukeboxes. At the local drive-in, an off-duty soda jerk fixes his gaze upon his “steady,” from whom his attention never strays. He is oblivious to the skies above. A hollowbody guitar gently lays its vibrato’d notes upon a pillow of double bass, as a piano softly plinks out close intervals in triplets. Snappy “doo bop shoo bops” interject. Four-part harmonies, drenched in ethereal reverb, meander in the background. Surprisingly stirring chromatic drops in the vocal melody flourish amid unexpected chord progressions throughout. The dreamy beauty of “I Only Have Eyes” sparks nostalgia for the halcyon years of post-war optimism.

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